I have a question for you. Who is more emotional of these two following people? Tom is in a meeting, and he explodes with anger when one of his colleagues does not finish a task on time, which impedes the project moving forward. In the same meeting, Sarah starts to cry when she learns the fate of the same project; she spent countless hours, including weekends and giving up family and personal time to make sure she met her personal deadlines. Both Tom and Sarah did their part to make the project viable and on-time, but a colleague’s lack of accountability for his-her own work, rendered the project a no-go on the status report. Both Tom and Sarah responded in an outwardly emotional way. Who was more emotional?
According to behavioral scientist and future of work expert, Lindsay Kohler's Forbes online article “New Data Shows Women Are More Negatively Stereotyped At Work Than Men,” most people will say that the woman is more emotional. Kohler wrote in her August 2024 article:
Women are negatively stereotyped at work up to seven times more often than men. The usual subjects are the biggest culprits. "Emotional" takes the cake with 78% of women having been described by that term versus just 11% of men. "Unlikeable" was used to describe 56% of women versus 16% of men. "Difficult" is the most evenly spread of the negative stereotypes, with 32% of women, 21% of men, and 40% of non-binary and/or gender fluid people having been described as difficult at one point. More troubling than the unbalanced use of negative stereotypes is that the group at work who reported receiving the largest percentage of problematic feedback was high-performing women.
Over my thirty-plus years working in corporations, I have been labeled with all these words and some others, including demanding, aggressive, and of course the b-word. Fortunately, I was raised by a strong mother who told me, after I called her crying that I had been called a bitch at work, “Great, let’s go celebrate – that means you did something right.”
In my book Men-In-The-Middle: Conversations to Gain Momentum with Gender Equity’s Silent Majority, I share these incidents too -- not to complain or whine but simply share another perspective of the situation. I got ranked down on a job review one year for not being aggressive enough because I did not yell at a group of people who violated a confidentiality agreement. From my perspective, I confronted the group and addressed the problem it caused. I did not yell, true, but I did confront the group directly and managed the problem. My job review said I was too soft on managing this problem.
The Double Burden of Stereotypes:
As businesses continue to push for greater inclusion, it's crucial to confront and dismantle the enduring stereotypes that hinder women’s advancement, and really any bias that hinders performance for all employees.
Kohler’s article highlights new research that quantifies the negative stereotypes women face, showing that women are more often judged through the lens of traditional gender norms, which are inherently limiting. They are frequently seen as less competent, too emotional, or insufficiently assertive in leadership roles—labels that men rarely encounter. This persistent bias not only affects how women are perceived but also influences how they are treated and the opportunities they receive.
For instance, women are often criticized for being “too aggressive” when displaying assertiveness, yet when men exhibit the same behaviors, they are lauded as strong leaders. This double standard leaves women in a no-win situation, needing to be strong yet nurturing, assertive yet approachable — creating a tension that can stifle both their performance and potential for growth.
This week I heard an executive female leader speaking to a group of women who explained that “aggressiveness” is just another form of passion. She said that when a man yells out of frustration or she has tears well up out of frustration, there is more in common than different; she explained that each person is responding out of a place of passion for success and an obstacle is blocking that success.
The Impact on Women’s Career Progression
These stereotypes have far-reaching consequences. Kohler's analysis points out that they significantly impact women’s career progression, especially in male-dominated fields. Women are often overlooked for promotions or leadership roles due to unconscious biases that question their abilities to manage teams or deliver under pressure. This is reflected in the fact that women still make up a fraction of senior leadership roles in corporate America, despite their increasing representation in the workforce. Annual research from McKinsey & Company about women in the workplace, shows that even though at entry level gender representation is fairly equal, the higher up in company positions and rank, representation of women shrinks. At the C-Suite level, women represent just over twenty percent of leadership roles.
The data also suggests that these stereotypes do not just harm women’s careers—they hurt the organization as a whole. Companies that fail to foster an inclusive environment miss out on the diverse perspectives women bring to the table. These perspectives are crucial in navigating complex challenges in today’s globalized and dynamic economy. A lack of gender diversity can limit creativity, innovation, and overall business performance. This applies to other forms of diversity too; age, race, nationality, thinking styles and more.
Addressing the Root Causes
To break these harmful stereotypes, businesses need to go beyond surface-level diversity initiatives. True inclusion requires systemic changes that address the root causes of these biases. This begins with recognizing the issue and committing to changing company culture.
Key strategies include:
Bias Training: Regular and comprehensive training on unconscious bias can help employees recognize and challenge their own assumptions about gender roles.
Mentorship Programs: Establishing mentorship and sponsorship programs that actively support women can help them overcome biases and advance in their careers.
Transparency in Promotion: Companies should be transparent in their promotion and hiring processes, ensuring that decisions are based on merit and qualifications rather than outdated stereotypes.
I add one more strategy that I extensively address in my book, Men-In-The-Middle; invite men into the conversation. In the space of diversity, men, in particular white men, are the least studied diverse group of people. It makes sense because most of our organizational systems are set up around this group. Hold on, any man reading this, before you start to get defensive. This is just a fact. When corporations were set up, it was a time when society promoted beliefs that men worked, and women stayed at home to raise families. Society has changed in a range of areas, from expectations to economics that often require both spouses to work to afford to raise a family.
Men are in positions of power to influence policies, pay and promotions. Gender equity is not a women’s issue, but a leadership issues, and to remain competitive, companies have to pull every lever including tapping into the entire talent pool to manage effectively.
Creating a Culture of Support
A supportive company culture also is essential to reduce the negative effects of stereotyping. Men and women should feel empowered to bring their authentic selves to work without fear of being judged or penalized for behavior that deviates from traditional gender expectations. Encouraging open communication, providing flexible work arrangements, and offering mental health support are just a few ways businesses can create an environment where women thrive.
In my book, I also spend an entire chapter talking about issues that men face that they just don’t talk about. Men tend to miss more family dinners than women, and they don’t like that, but they feel pressure to stay at the office. When I interviewed men across the country, especially senior men who made it to the C-Suite, one of the biggest regrets was sacrificing family time. They felt the pressure to put in the hours and be seen as available at all times to make their careers work. This included being available during vacation time, after hours, on weekends and more.
Conclusion: A Call to Action
The data presented in Kohler’s article is a call to action. Let have momentum gaining conversations about equity that includes women and men. It is one way that businesses can take deliberate steps to challenge and dismantle the negative stereotypes that continue to plague women in the workplace. There are benefits for men too. I have hours of transcripts from interviews
with men about gender equity. They had a lot to say, just not at the office.
In the last section of the book, I propose approaching this conversation as a change management issues. When gender equity goes from a women’s issues to a leadership issue, we create a work environment where talent, innovation, and leadership are valued equally, regardless of gender.
The future of work depends on the inclusion of diverse voices. To get there, we must all do our part to ensure that women are not held back by outdated stereotypes that serve no one. Tears or tantrums are both forms of passion that we all want to succeed.
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